Married affair discreet dating
Given that new reality, I put together what I've learned about the psychology of affairs, their meaning and their consequences for people in our current culture. We ended up in bed, as well as a lot of other places! The liberating and compelling feeling from this kind of affair, though, can mask hidden emotional conflicts.
Based on my work, I have found six types of affairs that people have today. It can feel really intense, but it's also the quickest to flame out. An example is a person who's able to feel sexually alive and free only in a secret relationship, hidden from the imagined hovering, inhibiting eye of one's parent, which the person may experience unconsciously with his or her spouse.
I find that people in this kind of affair find something in each other that's lacking in their "real" relationship, and they're not dealing with that.
They thought they could keep it secret; that neither would make any demands on the other and it would be perfectly safe. Most "family" affairs are interwoven with family dysfunctions and buried resentments.Neither Bill nor Tina, his sister-in-law, looked seriously at the issues in their respective marriages or inter-locked families; or even how dangerous it was.Postscript: One of their spouses eventually discovered the incriminating e-mails, and the family affair quickly turned into a family nightmare. Humans are experts at creating illusions for ourselves.His adamant refusal to go to couples therapy pushed her into acting on her anger.Rachel told me that a previous therapy had helped her recognize her collusion in becoming so subordinate in the marriage.