Dating for disability Kostenloser bildchat

“I told him during our first date that I was dealing with some health issues and he could either come along for the ride, or not,” says Lizz Schumer, a writer from New York City who has fibromyalgia, about the man who is now her husband.When you’re a disabled person and your partner isn’t (or even if they are, but you don’t have the same disability), it often involves a lot of educating and emotional labor on the disabled person’s part.They already have existing assumptions about our bodies, minds, and abilities.For the disabled partner, this means we need to be honest about where we’re coming from as much as possible.Andrew Gurza, the host of Disability After Dark, a podcast about sexuality and disability, finds this happens to him often when it comes to date planning.“All of that leg work with respect to what is accessible is bound to fall on me,” he says.There are tasks I can’t physically do, like shoveling out my car after a blizzard or any heavy lifting.We have open conversations about managing those minutiae, based on a combination of who’s able to do a task, who might enjoy it or be better suited for it, and who has the most free time and energy.

Non-disabled partners need to be understanding in a variety of situations, whether it’s in accessibility planning or navigating life together in an unaccommodating world.She accompanied me on my first few trips out of the house using it, and when we navigated public transit together, I felt safe and confident that I had a great support system on my side.We all deserve significant others who respect and support us unconditionally, but it can be hard to find a partner who gets it (or is willing to learn).My partner and I, for example, spend a lot of time talking about the way disabled people who use mobility aids are treated.She doesn’t know what it’s like to get on a crowded train with a cane and find that everyone is staring at her, but she’s willing to listen to how that feels for me.

Leave a Reply