Bipolar dating problems
Itâs been 1 year and 3 months since we split up, and I am finally moving through the pain, however I donât think I will ever be the same. Lacking intimacy 11.) admitted sending explicit sexual photos to women he didnât know on line and wish he had done more sexually promiscuous things 12.) said he was glad I wasnât into porn and said he was vehemently against it 13.) i found him posted on a porn web site while we were still engaged soliciting sex 14.) had dated 224 women, yet hadnât had a significant relationship since college 15.) said he had done inappropriate things in the past that he didnât want to go into 16.) told me watching others have sex would be fun 17.) extraordinarily bright, but emotionally immature 18.) proposed marriage within 3 months 19.) one day he was up the next he was down. He stayed on his side of the bed, again no intimacy 21.) demanded my time when he knew I couldnât give it 22.) said he wasnât into public displays of affection 23.) he had little to no friends 24.) his parents were over involved in his life, yet he was in his mid 30âs.
Though these warning signs may not fit every person with the bipolar disorder, I know many of them are typical: you can clearly see the warning signs of the manic stage (which I missed), mixed state, rapid cycling, and finally his depression. 1.) on the second date, found out we had very little in common early on. 25.) parents were in denial of his illness and treated him like a child 26.) he had a hard time getting off during sex with me he told me it was because he had been numbed by all his sexual experiences (in reality I think it was because of the drugs) 27.) he was very judgmental of me my family and friends 28.) kept track of gifts he had given people, or what gifts people gave him, had great expectations of others 29.) when introduced to others he would make comments about how no one seemed interested in him 30.) he frequently made comments about how much money he was spending on me 31.) he frequently pointed out my faults 32.) he was convinced I was bipolar and told me I should go see a physiatrist to see if I possibly could be.
WE do work hard to get our symptoms under control and try not to make the lives of those around us a complete nightmare. He could just have been a very nasty person who happened also to have bi-polar. I'm sorry you had a bad experience and even more sorry that your daughter suffered too but there are people who behave in the way your ex behaved who have NO MENTAL ILLNESS DIAGNOSIS AT ALL. I have met some bi-polar people that are pretty nice of course I have not lived with them, like you did. He was actually more of the giver, and never rubbed it in anyone's face. And we would have little fights bc I always felt it should be 50/50.. It even scared me to the point, that I knew I needed more than just âtalk therapyâ. I am going to assume that since your ex was on and off again with is medication (it sounds like) led to that passionate sex. When we first broke up (this is the second time) he cried to get me back, but we were both so emotionally that I cried as well. --during fights he would not answer his phone, turn off the lights at his home and pretend he wasnât there refusing to speak 50. I was lucky like I said if we had it once a week and like I said, even that felt forced.
So to those of you who do bravely venture into getting into a relationship with those of us who have bipolar desease, kudos to you. Or someone who decided to get some form of diagnosis to manipulate others. I know, I married one and was abused night and day. Don't you feel that if he was seeking professional help and was taking meds and was not doing the stuff on the computer that he was doing and a few other negative things that he was doing and thinking of your . --- "he had little to no friends" he was a loner, but I didnt mind, because sometimes I needed that intimacy. Agree--"his parents were over involved in his life, yet he was in his mid 30âs."--- he was 1 year shy of it... I was diagnosed with clinical depression and put on lexapro. I just think with mine the medicine really inhibited him to feel sexual yet I donât think he was willing to admit it. I did something horrible to him, and he wanted me back. The more I think about it the more I think he was embarrassed that he couldnât get off and that he simply was sick of trying. When he knew I wanted sex, he always made an effort, even if he was tired or sleepy.--except when we were ending. He took showers with me a lot, but did prefer his privacy at times...
I am hoping by posting this I will help someone else before they subject themselves to the pain that many of us have or are still enduring by loving someone with the terrible illness.
Here is my story: I met my ex-fiancÃ©e on a dating web site.
It wasnât until after all was said and done that I did everything I could to read up on this disorder. I would therefore caution anyone reading your post to approach all relationships-including those with Bipolars-with due caution and allow the other individual to present his/her individual self without preemptive stereotypes and judgments. I cannot image what he would be like without the drugs. I too wonder if there isnât some âpersonality disorderâ that went undiagnosed. I have been seeing my therapist for over 2 years now, and ironically it was my ex that suggested I see someone, since he accused me of being bipolar quite frequently.
I am sorry you had to go through all of that but some of us do seek therapy and take our medications and know our triggers and know how we get. He may have said he had been diagnosed bi-polar but deliberate cruelty and undermining of a partner is not how bi-polars are in general. For you to advise people to turn and run rather than have a relationship with a bi-polar SUFFERER is nasty on your part. People who know me, would tell you that is very unusual for me, because I am very upbeat, positive person, always optomistic. I have met a lot of parents, friends, husbands and wives on line regarding their stories, but yours is so similar to mine. It was bad and he wanted others to know he was doing a bad thing. In any event, it was me, (me being a masochist) who actually wanted to have it be not passionate, however, he always knew exactly what to do. =( I really exhausted him physically now that I think about it. Thatâs all we ever do.â what guy says something like that?
I would never ever get involved with someone again in the future that was bipolar because of this experience, and sadly I have met and read a lot of people who have similar stories to mine. =( and then the second time, never bad was done, and he doesnt even pick up his calls. Never was controlling or manipulative, howver, towards the end, he just never was around and was too busy with other activities. Realistically, the relationship never would have worked, but he never said it, but always said I was too good for him... And me being an unstable person as it is, I couldnt handle the extreme unstability he was providing me, however, bipolars need love to do they not? Im still so depressed over it (4 months afterwards.) but I really want to know... While he may be bipolar, a lot of what you have written sounds like Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
It was the saddest, hardest and most devastating relationship I have ever had. So, I always asked them (my friends) why should they not be in a relationship. I appreciate your saying that not all bipolar sufferers are alike. He was diagnosed by 5 separate specialists, or so he said. But I always thought his moods were extreme, especially given the medications he is taking and the fact that he has taken them consistently for the past 5 years.
Looking back on it now, it was a direct manipulation and it worked, because I showed up at his door that evening. I wish I had done my research prior to my involvement with him instead of learning as I went along and although I know not all bipolarâs are the same I would like to post the warning signs I ignored and say that if anyone here is considering getting involved with someone with this illness be prepared to face a lifetime of pain. Very little french kissing or touching in general, but otherwise acted very sexual. 4.) wrote me an e-mail of things he expected of me and from the relationship early on including marriage and children. 5.) told me he âloved meâ after our 5th date 6.) clearly by now he is in a full manic stage.
I have yet to meet someone in person or on line that has a healthy relationship with someone with this illness. He brought me down to such a state of depression that I myself had to take medication several months after our breakup for depression. Everything was euphoric, he was taking me on the ride with him 7.) did or made inappropriate sexual comments, grabbing my crotch in public, saying or asking inappropriate things 8.) wanted to know how far I have gone sexually, i. Threesomes, etc 9.) talked about sex all the time, but when it came right down to it, he used it as a way to control me, saying this such as âa good way not to get me to sleep with you is by asking me to.â 10.) sex the first time was horrible and many times thereafter.